


sasuke forces naruto to legalise gay marriage

by ninjatools



Series: making naruto gay again [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, M/M, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, and sakura and karin want to get married, its a win win situation tbh, lets be honest that’s what it is, sasuke has been quietly pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 08:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19422376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjatools/pseuds/ninjatools
Summary: He leans right in, his nose a mere inch away, eyes locked, as his sharingan whirls to life, “Why the fuck haven't you legalised gay marriage yet?”





	sasuke forces naruto to legalise gay marriage

**Author's Note:**

> dertyuihgf this is just indulgent crack and is technically a prequel to part 2 but im dumb and finished that other one first

It’s dark, the candle on his desk the only light, illuminating the scratchy writing on the papers in front of him. He sighs, breath making the flame flicker, shadows dancing round the quiet room at the top of Hokage tower.

He’s the only one still there, the usual people on desk duty long having gone home. The tower always creeped him out in the dark; the creaking became louder, the night somehow blacker, the portraits of the previous Hokage sternly glaring down at him, the weight of their expectations, of the people that have come before him, that have died to get him here, lies heavy on his shoulders. Although he is one of the strongest people in the world he’s always been terrified of ghosts; what good is a rasengan against something without corporeal form?

It’s as he's rapidly spiralling into a terrified ball on his desk chair imagining the ghosts of his father and Tsunade tearing him apart for doing such a bad job at being Hokage that he hears a noise by the window he’d cracked open to try and coax some cool air into the stuffy room. He freezes, too frightened to even think about defending himself from the coming onslaught of angry spirits. There’s a rustle as something moves with incredible speed towards him, disturbing the paper on the desk. He can only squeak and close his eyes in preparation for his untimely demise.

“Naruto.”

Huh? He’s not dead? Can ghosts speak? Wait...that voice is familiar. He opens one eye ever-so slightly and can just make out a pair of peculiarly long black ninja sandals. Sasuke has a pair like that. He wonders just how far they go up the legs of the person standing on his desk and finds himself reaching out before his mind can catch up to his hand. His fingers are gripping the hem of the trousers when he hears a sigh.

“Naruto, if you were so eager to get me undressed you could have just asked.”

That _is_ Sasuke.

“Get off my fucking desk, Sasuke.” He means it to come out as a strong command but it ends up sounding more like a plaintive whine. His brain finally registers what Sasuke had said and his face explodes into redness as he tries to sputter out an excuse.

“Shut up, usuratonkachi. I’m not here to indulge your foot fetish. What are you working on so late?” Sasuke is still standing on top of his desk, feet firmly planted right in the middle of the reports he was reading, but he squats down as he says this and tugs them out from under him. “I don’t know how you do this stuff all day, it seems so tedious. You can let go now, dumbass.”

Sasuke's trouser leg is still being held in his hand and he quickly drops it. God, why is he so flustered, he didn't use to be like this around Sasuke; he’s still blushing.

“What’re you doing here, Sasuke? You’re not due back for another couple months at least, y’know.” Yes that’s it, talk about business, don't focus on his thigh muscles displayed in perfect relief as he squats right in front of your face.

Sasuke is silent for a few seconds and Naruto can feel his determination to not stare weirdly intensely at his best friend’s crotch wavering.

“—What? Oh, yeah. Karin wanted me to come talk to you.” He leans right in, his nose a mere inch away, eyes locked, as his sharingan whirls to life, “Why the fuck haven't you legalised gay marriage yet?”

That was not what Naruto was expecting.

“Gay marriage?”

“Yes. Gay marriage. Neji didn’t die for you not to enshrine it in the constitution or whatever.”

Naruto, uncharacteristically, does not know how to respond to that.

“Anyway, Karin wants to marry Sakura but there is one small detail stopping her that can be easily solved by your signature.”

“Wait wait wait – Sakura and Karin are dating??? How come I didn't know this? How do you even know this? You haven’t even been here for the last six months!” He was hurt. Sakura was one of his best friends and Karin was his cousin, couldn't one of them told him that very significant detail?

“Naruto, they’ve been together for nearly five years; how did you not know this? I _know_ they've kissing in front of you because they are very...touchy feely like that. And Karin gets cocky about it too.” Sasuke was staring at him like he was an idiot, which was probably warranted considering he couldn't even notice two of his friends had been dating for so long.

He thought back to all those times he'd seen them walking around the village holding hands; or that one time he’d gone to visit Sakura and Karin had walked out of her bedroom in a set of pink scrubs; or that other time Karin had excitedly declared she was getting an apartment with Sakura… “I thought they were just good friends…”

Sasuke stares at him in silence for several seconds before sighing and softly shaking his head.

“Okay, well we don't have time to ruminate on your stupidity right now,” he pauses while he stands back up (still on his desk Naruto would like to note) and draws his sword, levelling it at Naruto's throat, “Now, I'm sure you can manage to get your pretty little head around signing those documents in front of you.” Sasuke taps the relevant pages with his toe, jabs the point of his blade into Naruto's neck and flips off the desk and out the same window he entered through.

Naruto just sits there for several minutes trying to sort out all the thoughts and feelings whirling around his head, the most prominent being Sasuke; was Sasuke an emotion? Probably.

Shikamaru wakes him the next morning; papers strewn all over the floor, pushed off by his arms in the night. He peels a page off his cheek and tries to pretend he intended to have an impromptu sleepover in his office. Shikamaru looks like he’s about to say something, arm reaching out before he jerks it back with a sigh and just turns around to leave.

Why _had_ he been sleeping here anyway? Oh yeah—Sasuke and… gay marriage!

“Wait! Shikamaru, what do you know about gay marriage?”

It takes a couple days to sort out the logistics but finally he has the document in front of him, pen poised to sign on the dotted line in one hand, official seal in the other; Sasuke's there. The stamp is slammed down, shaking the desk, ink spattering up his arm.

“Sasuke, you asshole!”

“You were taking too long,” is his insouciant reply, hand still on top of Naruto's, warm and solid.

“I still have to sign, y’know,” some secret part of him hoping Sasuke might take his other hand too.

He scrawls his signature over the paper, easy and quick, and has a brief thought about why it took seven hokages to get it done. In fact, he knew Hashirama was gay…maybe that’s why Madara left the village, because Hashirama wouldn't legalise gay marriage. Is that why Sasuke left? No – he’s just being stupid now, Sasuke left for power, he knows this…and yet…why was _Sasuke_ the one to ask? Sakura is his best friend, Karin is family, they could have easily asked him themselves, its not like he was going to say no. So, why Sasuke specifically?

He looks up and regards Sasuke, at the face of the boy he desperately chased for years, one of the first people to look at him and see a lonely child and not a monster, Sasuke stares back, gaze direct and unapologetic and Naruto finds his mouth opening, words on the tip of his tongue.

“If you ask why it was me that asked you, then you're even stupider than you look.”

Naruto's mouth snaps closed with a click. Sasuke still hasn't removed his hand. Naruto feels himself getting hotter and hotter, his body seeming to have come to the correct conclusion before his brain.

And his mind is racing, thousands of interactions with Sasuke flashing behind his eyes, a montage of quiet devotion; and Naruto had always claimed to know Sasuke's heart like his own but now he’s being confronted with the fact that he really knew neither. How could he have been so blind to what was plainly written in front of him?

“You’re in love with me! I'm…I'm in love with you…” He almost expects Sasuke to scoff and clip him on the back of the head. But he doesn't. He laces their fingers together and squeezes gently.

“Took you long enough, dumbass.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you had fun lmao
> 
> you can find me on [tumblr](https://usersasuke.tumblr.com/)(@usersasuke)


End file.
